When my wife demanded that I stop impersonating a flamingo, I knew it was time to put my foot down.
Day 1427 Adam
keywords: crack, cocaine, drugs, ducks, addiction
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My wife: Did you have a beer? I can smell it on your breath.
Me: No. I had rabbit stew though. You're just smelling the hops.
I just got a job helping dogs who have lost their tails. I've always wanted a job in retail.